When the Light Goes Out

A moving reflection on the recent allegations against author Neil Gaiman from one of his former readers, Kat De Luca.

It’s crushing to hear the recent allegations against Neil Gaiman. 

Growing up in an environment of domestic violence and sexual trauma, I had no safe place. Not my home. Not my body. Not even a friend with whom I could be fully honest. So, I turned to books. Fantasy became my escape, offering a refuge from my unbearable reality. 

Fairy tales were, in some ways, my first language. When other kids went off to colorful classrooms, I was kept home under the pretense of “homeschooling.” As my peers practiced their handwriting or memorized multiplication tables, I hid behind doors and under beds, studying the Brothers Grimm, Andrew Lang, and Hans Christian Andersen–tales bursting with violence and transformation, grief and hope. 

When I discovered Gaiman’s work in my teens, it felt like coming home to those fairy-tale worlds in a universal and deeply personal way; as if it was speaking directly to me, while also connecting me to a space so much larger than myself. His stories glimmered with familiar faerie themes, but also plunged to depths I hadn’t yet encountered. 

Gaiman’s writing didn’t shy away from life’s terrors. It embraced them, exposing nightmares, demons, and endless grief–the kind of darkness at the core of my daily experience but which I was seldom able to admit. It allowed me a safe way to explore that shadowed part of myself, validating the pain that I could not yet voice. And opening the door for hope.

Gaiman’s work was a life-raft for me. 

I devoured everything of his that I could get my hands on.

Coraline, The Sandman, Stardust, American Gods—these worlds acknowledged life’s excruciating suffering and understood the monsters were real. But they also offered something more: the possibility that love and courage were stronger than the pain. That even the worst suffering didn’t have to mean despair. 

When you connect with many works from one author, it begins to feel as if the writer on the other side of the page is a friend. An ally. One of us. Someone else who knows the darkness and would fight the monsters alongside you.

I’ve come a long way since sixteen. One unexpected part of healing is how differently I respond to violence. The same horrors that once comforted me now leave me uneasy. As I return to tales that once felt like shelter within a storm as an adult, I find the boundaries have shifted. They are no longer a guiding light in the dark, but something murkier, unsettling in its own right.

So it’s no surprise that in recent years I’ve reassessed my relationship to Gaiman’s work and found myself turning to it less, even donating books I onced cherished.

Maybe I’m less tough. Maybe I just don’t need the same life-rafts anymore.

Even so, the allegations against Gaiman hit hard.

In cases of sexual violence, it’s impossible to know the full truth of “what happened.” But the power imbalances in these so-called relationships are proof enough for me. Proof that this man is sick. 

Proof that he’s yet another false friend. 

That the ally who once offered me a hand while I was fighting to stay alive in my teens is more like the men who exploited me than I ever imagined. No different from the abusers so consumed by their own victimhood that they used me to feel powerful. 

Just another lie, wrapped in the guise of safety—another mask for festering evil.

It sucks.

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Neil Gaiman, the acclaimed author known for works like The Sandman and American Gods, has been accused by nine women of sexual assault and misconduct. The allegations, which span several decades, include claims of rape via coercion into non-consensual sexual acts, emotional abuse, degrading behavior, and exploitation within power-imbalanced relationships.

These allegations have led to significant professional repercussions for Gaiman. In September 2024, Disney halted production on the film adaptation of The Graveyard Book. Production on the third season of Good Omens was paused, with Gaiman ultimately exiting the project in October 2024. In January 2025, Dark Horse Comics announced that they are no longer publishing his works.

On January 13, 2025, Vulture published an exposé titled "There Is No Safe Word," which delves into multiple allegations of sexual assault and abuse against Gaiman. The piece presents detailed accounts from several women, including alleged assaults against women in their teens and early twenties while Gaiman was in his 50s and 60s.

On January 14, 2025, following the Vulture article, Gaiman posted a statement on his website and social media. He reiterated his denial of engaging in any non-consensual sexual activities and expressed regret for past behaviors that might have caused harm to others.

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External Sources

Bennett, Catherine. “As a Writer, Neil Gaiman Is a Serial Fantasist. That, It Seems, Also Applies to His Feminism.” The Guardian, The Guardian, 19 Jan. 2025, www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2025/jan/19/neil-gaiman-sexual-misconduct-allegations-fantasy-feminism.

Blair, Elizabeth. “Neil Gaiman Has Responded to Sexual Misconduct Allegations.” NPR, 14 Jan. 2025, www.npr.org/2025/01/14/nx-s1-5259516/neil-gaiman-response-sexual-misconduct-allegations.

Frank, Jason P. “Which Neil Gaiman Adaptations Are Affected by Allegations?” Vulture, 13 Sept. 2024, www.vulture.com/article/neil-gaiman-allegations-adaptations.html?utm_campaign=feed-part&utm_medium=social_acct.

Gaiman, Neil. “Breaking the Silence.” Neilgaiman.com, 14 Jan. 2025, journal.neilgaiman.com/2025/01/breaking-silence.html.

Glynn, Paul. “Sandman Author Neil Gaiman Faces More Sexual Assault Allegations.” BBC, 14 Jan. 2025, www.bbc.com/news/articles/cn01dynqx7ro.

Shapiro, Lila. “The Dark Secrets behind the Neil Gaiman Abuse Accusations.” Vulture, 13 Jan. 2025, www.vulture.com/article/neil-gaiman-allegations-controversy-amanda-palmer-sandman-madoc.html.

Urwin, Rosamund. “Neil Gaiman Dropped by Publisher over Sexual Misconduct Claims.” Thetimes.com, The Sunday Times, 26 Jan. 2025, www.thetimes.com/uk/arts/article/neil-gaiman-dropped-by-publisher-over-sexual-misconduct-claims-pq0k298nb.